Why Not Me?
And an Easter-y, toddler-approved breakfast bake with protein and a vegetable
This week was spring break, preschool was closed, and my husband was out of town for work. I had a sitter come over Tuesday morning so that I could submit a new short story to some literary magazines with March 31 deadlines. For a long time, whenever I had a sitter come over to help, I was never sure if I was spending my “free time” the right way. If I showered, I thought I should have worked out instead. If I went for a walk, I thought about how I could have run errands solo. There’s only one thing I do where I don’t feel this way. Writing. If I spend time writing when a sitter is here, I often feel energized afterwards.
I’m rereading the book Writers and Lovers for one of my book clubs, and I came across a phrase I had underlined the first time I read it, a few years ago. “I don’t write because I have something to say, I write because if I don’t everything feels worse.”
I often teeter-totter between thinking what I wrote is incredible and in the next moment thinking it’s grade-A crap. The reality is that it’s somewhere in the middle. But perhaps the quality of the work is not the point. The point is that when I’m writing, it never feels like time wasted. That has to count for something.
I dropped into a thrift store this morning (scored a $3.22 dress) and a dusty wall was filled the books I’d never heard of before and instead of making me sad, like thinking perhaps what I write won’t matter and end up on a shelf no one will read, it motivated me–all these people felt the need to write too, and they did! Finishing a book is not this unobtainable thing I can never hope to do in my lifetime. Look at all the people who have done it!
So this past Tuesday morning I submitted my new short story to four very prestigious literary magazines. They take about 120 days to get back to me, so don’t hold your breath, but submitting to some reach publications felt like a vote of confidence in myself. I’m starting to let myself dream, “Why not me?” I think, “They have to publish someone.”
We’re in full Easter mode over here. We’re reading lots of spring books and listening to the hit toddler song “Hop Little Bunnies” on repeat. We did an egg hunt with some friends this week that lasted exactly 2 minutes. I had to nab some eggs away from the older kids to put in my almost-two-year-olds basket while he toddled behind me, a little stunned at the frenzy. My three-and-a-half year old has been carrying his eggs around the house like they’re made of Faberge gold instead of hollow, neon plastic. There’s something so sweet about seeing what children covert–rarely is it the things you expect.
I’ve been making this carrot cake baked oatmeal regularly for breakfast. It’s usually a hit and a way to get protein and a vegetable into little bellies for breakfast. And carrot cake is Easter-y, right? It’s crucial to use the fine shredder on your box grater. I forgot once and used the bigger holes and the kids discerned that there were actually vegetables in there so I had to eat the whole thing myself.
Joy Bauer's Carrot Cake Baked Oatmeal
Happy Easter, all!
XO,
Casey
Writing for the joy of it. How wonderful. 👍🏼